Make a vineyard of the curse

Straight Dope claim they've been fighting ignorance since 1973. "It's taking longer than we thought," they add.

I wonder why? Judging from their long, deluded answer to FoNiXWeRx's query ("I hearded recently that "Finnegan's Wake" was written as a big joke... Should I be ashamed at having pored day and night over Finnegan?") Straight Dope is part of the problem, not the solution. What a missed opportunity to straighten out the ignorant.

Worse to come, if that's even possible. In their small-print disclaimer, Straight Dope's advice for all our hands is: "accuracy-wise, you'd better keep your fingers crossed."

Wrong wrong wrong. Keep your fingers curled up tightly in a fist, ever-ready to ram through the internet's dark holes of ignorance: holes where bunches of apostrophies dangle like dark, red grape's, grape's ready to turn into the flowing wine of bloody truth, like a well-fisted haemorrhoid.